A new female-friendly social networking app called Lulu is blowing up. The app allows girls to anonymously review their male Facebook friends about their best and worst qualities–everything from his sex skills to his willingness to pay for dinner. Twenty-something NYC girls say 70% of their friends use Lulu. (NYT article)
The creator of Lulu is an attractive lady named Alexandra Chong, who looks, incidentally, like she would probably eat her young.
I’m not mad at her for creating a successful app. If Chong wants to make a digital dude rating system, that’s fine by me. I don’t think she hates men. I don’t think she’s evil. I think she’s made an intriguing product and I don’t blame her for it. But, if she were a guy? Forget about it. Mass anarchy.
Lulu is not male friendly. It’s basically impossible for a guy to get into the app, so you’ll have to borrow a girl’s phone. Lulu is completely integrated with Facebook, so she’ll have to have an active mobile Facebook account.
You find a guy you want to rate, then answer a few multiple choice questions about him, like these…
(check out the facebook photo of the guy at the top left)
You’re then prompted to add pre-made hashtags to describe the guy, stuff like #SexualPanther, #Adventurous, #Germaphobic, #ThatGuy, #GetsInFights, or #OneTrackMind.
I honestly don’t know what half of these even mean. #Sleepsinthewetspot? Is that a thing? Do dudes really do that? If after you bust a nut you actually get up and switch places so you can sleep in your own come, it’s probably time to get the ol’ T checked.
The app then generates a score from between 1-10 for each guy reviewed and allows other users to see the reviews.
Several problems for guys. For one, in a post-Lulu world there’s no escaping scrutiny for single men. Now everything a guy does, all his tendencies, his quirks, his libido, everything, it’s all on display for any girl to see.
Another problem is Lulu’s anonymous nature and complete lack of accountability. Any girl can rate any guy she’s Facebook friends with. There’s no way to check a review’s veracity. What if a girl was dumped and she takes out her frustration online? There’s no way for a guy to check his reviews or even to know who reviewed him in the first place. If you, as a guy, try to log in from your phone, the app will stop you with a message that says, “Dude, You’re a dude!” and block you from seeing the reviews.
These complaints aside, the worst part about Lulu is that the media’s perspective on it is hypocritical. The headlines say, “What’s He Really Like? Check the Lulu app” instead of “Tech Millionaire Heckled by Code Pink.”
Imagine for a second if the opposite app had been created first. I don’t think girls would be too happy about being reviewed on that app… #lovesanal #canswallowakielbasa #growupalready. A men-only app would cause massive outcry from feminist groups declaring users misogynists and woman-haters, and the NYT would report it all.
So let’s make a deal, when the male version of Lulu inevitably drops and we start hashtagging chicks with #GoodFromFarFarFromGood and #CelluliteCity, can women promise not to freak out? Thank you.